Saturday, December 31, 2011

What is Networking and Why is it Important in Business?

When I began my networking journey, I attended any and all networking events as time permitted. Every event was fair game! Today I am much more strategic in my networking endeavors. I discovered which events and organizations gave me the best return on my investment of time as well as how to be an effective, caring networker.

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In order to know where to begin you must first understand what networking is and why it is important to grow your business. Networking in its purest form is simply talking to people, making connections and developing rapport to grow our circle of influence. Business networking is essentially the same except that our primary objective in business networking is to help us grow our businesses. For most of us, building a network means meeting people we can do business with or who will do business with us, or refer people who will do business with us, are our ultimate goals.

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In fact, some of the best networks are those created by people who own and run their own businesses. When you create valuable networking relationships, you build them on a foundation of mutual trust, sharing knowledge, experiences and resources to help one another grow your businesses by either referring one another or doing business directly with one another.

It works like this: If you do a good job, one customer might tell three to five of her colleagues, family and friends about you. Whereas, when you build a network of say 10 to 20 strong advocates, they may each tell only one person about your, however your "exposure" is now more than doubled - With the right network, the ultimate in "word of mouth" marketing takes place. You promote your network, and your network promotes you.

Have you ever attended a BNI or Le Tip or other form of structured networking groups? Perhaps you are already a member of a similar group. If not, you might consider becoming involved in one to the fastest growing business networking concepts around. These groups invite business professionals to join on an exclusive basis. That means, that if you are a chiropractor and become a member of one of these groups, no other chiropractor will be invited or allowed to join.

These groups have regularly scheduled meetings (anywhere from monthly to weekly) with a list of rules and objectives to which you must abide. In some cases, a minimum number of referrals is required to participate. In others, simply doing business with one or more in the network is all that is asked of he members. However, keep in mind that for this type of networking to be worthwhile for all parties, each must make every effort to do business with other members of the group.

If this form of structured networking isn't for you, there are other options for finding potential networking venues and partners. Here are some ideas to help you on your way to networking success.

a. Develop a joiners mentality. By that I mean, don't just sign up to get our name on a roster. REALLY JOIN. Get involved. Participate in discussions, events and BE VISIBLE. The saying "out of sight, is out of mind," holds true when it comes to networking. I have been involved in groups and decided to take a hiatus from attending for 2 to 3 months (and sometimes more) only to have people come up to me and tell me they forgot the name of my business so they had to find someone else either through a friend or through the local phone book. BUMMER!

b. Attend networking functions. These can include Chambers of Commerce meetings, after hours socials, ad hoc committees and special events task forces.

c. Get involved in a community service group such as Kiwanis, Lions, Jaycees, etc.

d. Volunteer with a non-profit organization, whose mission you are passionate about and believe in. People who have similar passions will want to do business with you.

e. Host events - I started an event called Goddess Gatherings more than 2 years ago in my home. It is an intimate gathering of women (8 max.) who share a common interest and/or wish to expand their own circles. I invite women who do not yet know one another although they may be familiar with their names. These women are women in my circle of influence either directly or indirectly (they are either members of the 22 groups I belong to and attend regularly or they are part of a circle within these groups). I might invite a "surprise" guest who can entertain the women - such as a masseuse or tarot card reader- or feature a business such as a jeweler or make-up artist. This helps make for a memorable evening and the women either start their own Gathering or look forward to being invited to another gathering hosted by either myself of one of the women in attendance.

f. Look for ways to cross-promote with businesses that complement yours. For instance, a spa might join with a health food store or restaurant and promote their products and services for staying healthy. A salon might join a florist to promote weddings or proms and a realtor might join with a mortgage broker to promote a "one-stop" experience for home buyers.

g. Interview others. A great way for me to network is to interview women for projects I am working on. Since most people are flattered when you ask their opinion about something or experiences in life, this has been a great means of increasing my own circle for various reasons. I might interview a woman (or even a man) about an article or book I am writing, or a seminar I am developing. People love to share their stories. I tape the interview (with their permission, of course) and give them a copy afterwards. It helps to have a list of questions ready prior to the interview, however, unless they insist, I don't give them the questions ahead of time. I have done these interviews via phone, email as well as in person. Many of the women have since.

h. Join an online business or social networking community such as MeetUp, Ryze, Max-in-Common, Linkd In, Open BC, to name a few,. These groups have subgroups made up of people with a specific focus and similar interests. Or you can join a non-specific group to gain more knowledge, exposure and contacts.

Make a point of attending one new networking event a month just to "check it out." Make a list of the people you know, the organizations you have heard and read about and the companies who currently do business with you. These are all great resources to tap into to find new venues to network. Get the local newspaper and look at the organizations and businesses hosting events to which the public is invited. Attend them.

The best networking begins with planning and taking action. Being strategic in your planning is important to your ultimate success as an effective, caring networker.

If you are interested in sharing your networking success stories, drop me a note to heidi@speakingwithspirit.com. It would be an honor to interview you. Who knows, your story could be the subject of one of my articles, or you could even write your own.. Looking forward to hearing from you. Here's to your success in building your network.

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Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Magician Tarot Card - Why it Means You Can Finally Get What You Want in Life, As If by Magic!

The Magician Tarot card is the card dreams are made of, and it augers the presence of power and the ability to get results.

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The Tarot Deck comprises two sections: the Major Arcana, and the Minor Arcana. Arcana means "secret" and it is through a Tarot Reading that many secrets of life are revealed to the Querent (person receiving a Tarot reading). The cards convey many messages because of the richness of their images and connections.

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It is no wonder that the Tarot has intrigued and fascinated people over the centuries.

A skilled and expert Tarot Reader can interpret the Cards, helped by their own innate psychic intuition. Everyone can learn to develop their psychic awareness and intuition, and anyone can learn to read and interpret the Tarot

A Tarot Reader will have learned to interpret the Magician Tarot card in relation to where it appears in a Tarot Spread and its relationship with surrounding cards.

The Magician card is a positive card in a Reading, and indicates that the things are in place, and the time is right, to use talents and fortune to achieve positive goals and dreams.

This card throws up the following questions when it appears:

* Do you posses Magical qualities and what are they?
* Do you have the power to change, create and control the things in your life?
* Are you prepared to move heaven and earth to get what you want?
* Where will your strength to do this come from?

With reference to your personality, the Magician speaks of changes that will mean the ability to take action to achieve goals. All fear to speak out and take action will dissolve, obstacles will diminish.

In connection with close family and other relationships, the Magician card could predict a pregnancy, or even the loss of someone close. Also be wary of someone being hurtful.

As for health the Magician Tarot card can represent a problem with mental health, pregnancy or perhaps caring responsibilities have taken their toll. However, it can also mean renewed vitality, greater energy and feeling vigorous.

In relation to your love life this card predicts a powerfully strong love. Now you will have the strength to move heaven and earth to resolve problems and achieve goals.

In relation to your career the Magician Tarot card shows progress and suggests that whatever you set your mind to do you must take action now.

The Magician of the card represents a skilled and talented person. He is an alchemist by profession, and epitomizes the ability to translate ideas into action. The symbolism of this card is creativity, demonstrating great achievement for the Querent if they are willing to put their ideas into action.

This card is also an indicator of unseen powers and psychic ability, a connection to the divine, and a sign that some Magical influences could be coming into the Querant's life or that their intuition will become stronger.

If revealed in a Tarot Reading, this card shows that a choice must be made on what to focus on before success can be achieved.

Above all else this card is issuing a challenge to the Querant to take action and put their talents to the best use to create success.

Positive connotations associated with this card are action, confidence, individuality and willpower.

Negative connotations associated with this card are deception, lack of self-confidence and indecision.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Moon Magic

The Moon has a mystique all its own. It is often associated with secrecy and mystery ... and is associated with strange, uncanny powers. It evokes a peculiar range of responses in cultures everywhere, from curiosity and wonder, to romance and affection, to awe and dread. In legend (and the lore of police and hospital personnel), the Full Moon brings forth weird behaviors, extreme reactions, and over-the-top emotional outbursts associated with no other time on the calendar.

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Folktales and superstitions tell of the Full Moon being the time when witches, werewolves, goblins, ghosts, and vampires were able to penetrate "the other realms" ... and walk on earth again -- creating problems and a fair amount of fright, whether they were real or not. Dogs, wolves, and the coyotes here in the desert howl mournfully at the Moon ... and the sound is certainly enough to catch your attention, and prompt you to make sure all your doors are well locked for the night.

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Some people claim that the minds of the already unbalanced are "driven over the edge" by the power of the Full Moon ... for reasons that remain a mystery ... but the word "lunatic" as a designation for someone insane, has its roots in the Latin word for Moon. In contemporary Spanish, La Luna ... is still the Moon.

On the other hand, people fall in love under the Full Moon. It's hard to see a beautiful yellow-gold Moon rising ... and not want to walk along the sea shore ... or into the desert night ... hand-in-hand with the one you love. Love songs and poems that evoke the magic imagery of the Moon are found in many cultures and all through the generations.

Ancient cultures worshiped the Moon, and held ceremonies, rituals, and festivals in its honor. Many contemporary primitive people continue to give the Moon divine status. Mythologies speak of Moon Goddesses ... and even the image evokes feelings of a powerful archetypal energy. The Moon influences the tides. It influences the gravitational field of the earth. It influences the fertility cycle in some (and maybe all) species.

(c) 2007 Rebecca Brents, All rights reserved.

In Astrology, the Moon is considered the second most important placement in a Natal Chart and thus the second most powerful influence on and descriptor of a person's character. As I've said in many places and at many times, I'm not sure you can set that kind of hierarchy ... because the Moon may be every bit as important and essential as the Sun.

The Moon represents your emotional self, your inner self, your instincts, habits, and automatic reactions. The sign it occupies in the Zodiac at any given time will color your reactions, feelings and "personal responses" according to the issues and characteristics represented by the sign involved. The Moon changes signs every 2 1/2 days ... and keeping track of the Moon's position in its travels through your Natal Chart is one of the very best ways I know to stay in touch with the currents of your own emotional flow.

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2012 - Year of Change

The year 2012 will see many changes, some of  which are beginning to take place in the now, 2009.

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2012 is the end of the current Mayan calendar and many have thought this would be the end of the world as we know it. For all you fatalists, I regret to inform you that the world isn't going to explode, it will always be here.

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There is a certain segment of the human  race that seems to always assume we are in the final days, especially when a certain mile stone is reached, such as the turn of the century, a new millennium, or an event such the Mayan calendar coming to an end.  This is never the case, although such an event can signify a change in human consciousness, because perhaps the earth enters into another dimension or zodiac sign, or maybe just because people evolve.

The major cause for alarm at this particular time is because  the place where the December Solstice sun crosses the Milky Way is precisely the location of the "dark rift in the Milky Way", the road to the underworld, or the center of the Milky Way Galaxy.

In other words, on Dec. 21,2012 at 11.11 AM GMT, during the December Solstice the sun will be at the exact center of the Milky Way Galaxy. According to the Maya, the center of the Galaxy is the cosmic womb: the place of the dead, transformation, regeneration and rebirth. That is why this moment shows the end of their calendar.

This event has been developing for thousands of years, and will climax on 12/21/2012 at 11:11AM,GMT.

In actuality, the Mayan calendar will not end ,it will  just recycle and start over on a new cycle, just as it has done many times before, much like an odometer on a car when the mileage reaches 100,000 miles. It will be a time of rebirth and renewal. Many worn out values and traditions no longer deemed appropriate will be discarded and replaced with customs more in line with universal knowledge and the teachings of our fathers. As we travel through time , more and more people will see the error of their ways and align themselves with the God Source.

As we race towards this date in time, the earth will experience many changes, there could possibly be some climate changes and changes in land mass. However, most of the change will come on an emotional and spiritual level, it certainly won't be the change that some politicians are hoping for.

Quite to the contrary, humans are going to become more aware of the shenanigans of our public officials and personalities, they will no longer be able to pull the wool over our eyes as they have in the past,much more will be demanded of them in the areas of accountability and trust.

America will once again return to it's roots, realizing that the human race thrives on competition, doing your best, and solving problems, the human spirit was created to be free and to make decisions based on the soul's desires. The soul was not created to be subject to domination and control, only freedom and self government can give the individual the environment it needs to fully express itself and thrive.

As the world enters this period in time, many forces are at work to strip the soul of it's ability to prosper and grow. Many people in government, not only in America, but around the world are power crazy and think they know what is best for every one else.People will begin to realize this is not the case, only the individual human soul , because of each one's individual experiences and perspective is capable of deciding what is best for it. Only when individual souls are in line with like minded spirits can they live, work and love together.

As 12/21/2012 approaches and passes this is what is going to evolve, more like minded people will be coming together,to work and live in harmony for the good of all, not as Communists, Marxists, or Socialists, but rather as free individuals, enjoying all the benefits of a society created by our founding fathers, a country created  so each spirit can expand it's horizons to the fullest.

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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Astrological Predictions For All Moon Signs For 2011

Moon sign predictions for all the signs of zodiac have been framed as per Vedic astrology. The main parameters that have been considered while making the predictions are the planetary positions vis-à-vis the natal position of Moon in the horoscope during the year 2011.

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Aries:

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Good news for those who are planning to get married or who are in search of companion or life partner. The period after May, 2011 is good for soul-mate to enter as life partner.

Professionally, things may remain tough till May, 2011 but improvement may be noticeable after that. Major challenge causing obstacle in professional life may be relationship with seniors at workplace. Here again situations may ease out after May, 2011. Some career-related changes may be expected after November, 2011.

Natives of Aries may be interested in investing in property during the year. Speculative or risky investment should, however, be avoided especially before May, 2011. Gain from stocks is indicated towards the year-end. The time is good for those who are planning foreign travel or immigration. Health will be an area of concern and may need extra-attention and constant vigil.

Lucky days are Tuesdays and Thursdays, Lucky numbers are 2, 3, 6 and 9. Lucky colors are brown and maroon. They have compatible relationship with Gemini, Aquarius, Leo and Sagittarius.

Taurus:

Time is right for resolving all differences within the family because domestic tension is indicated in the horoscope. It is important for the natives to avoid harsh words and bitter arguments for problem resolution.

The year brings good news for those couples who are planning to have a child. The period is especially good for this till May, 2011. However, some health-related issues may create problems. It will be prudent to avoid tensions during the year and work for peaceful environment at home and office.

Investors should remain cautious while investing in property. Proper survey of projects should be done before investing. Some natives may have windfall gains during the year. Legal resolution of pending issues is also indicated. Chance of foreign travel is indicated after November, 2011.

Lucky colors are white and sky blue. Lucky days are Fridays and Saturdays and lucky numbers are 3, 6 and 9. They are compatible with Pisces, Cancer, Virgo and Capricorn.

Gemini:

For Gemini natives, the year may be very important. They may witness changes in career, residence etc. during the year. Professional betterment is the promise of the horoscope. Career-related changes may take effect after November, 2011. Marital discord is indicated and for precaution it is better to exercise restraint and avoid arguments. It may be necessary till May, 2011. Situations may improve after that.

Gains from speculation and investment are possible for some during the year. Caution should be exercised while investing in property. Lavish investment in expensive cars is possible by some natives.

It will be important for Gemini natives to remain cautious about health during the year. They should spend some time in gyms or doing yoga. Needless tension should be avoided at all cost.

Lucky color is green. The lucky day is Wednesday. Lucky numbers are 3, 5 and 9. They are compatible with Leo, Virgo and Sagittarius.

Cancer:

Traveling is likely for natives of Cancer especially during the first-half of the year. Gain from elders and people placed in high authorities looks possible. Unnecessary arguments are to be avoided. There should be a clear focus on career and professional growth. The year will reward their efforts.

Better options for career-growth and likelihood of professional gains exist in the second half of the year. 2011 may be good for those who are planning job-change. The period after May, 2011 may bring in good opportunities and good time for action.

The year is good for investment in property. They may have good options for property buying after November, 2011. Some of the natives may also invest in conveyance. It is better to stay away from stock market and risky investment.

Lucky colors are white and cream. Lucky day is Monday. Lucky numbers are 2, 7 and 9 and compatible signs are Aries, Taurus, Libra and Capricorn.

Leo:

Family discords are indicated for Leo natives. All possible caution should be taken to keep the anger under control because anger may further complicate matters. Avoid arguments, remain calm and keep patience during the year.

Many Leos may find time for traveling abroad. If the natives have any foreign assignment in mind or are planning for settling abroad, the period after May, 2011 will open new doors and opportunities. Professionally, things seem to be good for most natives. Period after November, 2011 is suitable for businessmen and entrepreneurs.

Investments may take diverse pattern. There may be investments in property, stocks and the like. Initially, investments may not seem to yield desired profit, but after May, 2011 investments will start paying. Some natives may also gain from stock market.

Lucky colors are pink, red and orange. Lucky days are Sundays and Tuesdays. The lucky numbers are 1, 4 and 8 and compatible signs are Gemini and Scorpio.

Virgo:

Virgos may witness many changes during 2011 including changes in job and residence. Health of mother or maternal relatives may be a cause of concern for some. This may be a cause of worry.

The year is good for sorting out all outstanding issues in personal and family life. The changes in overall situations are going to affect significantly for a longer period. This may have positive impact in the long run. Financially, things seem to be favorable after November, 2011.

The time is good for Virgos planning for marriage or those seeking permanency in relationship. However, they should see that marriage gets solemnized by May, 2011. The newly-married may face adjustment problems after May, 2011. This can be resolved by seeking guidance from friends and family members.

Lucky color is Green. The lucky day is Wednesday. Lucky numbers are 5, 3 and 9. The compatible signs are Gemini and Sagittarius.

Libra:

The year is good for those with high aspirations. They may be able to achieve their desired goals. Librans shall have their say in almost every sphere of life which may include business, finance or career. It is like Midas-touch. Whatever they touch will become gold. The period after November, 2011 may prove to be highly eventful.

The year is good for entrepreneurs also. The period after May, 2011 is good for marriage, alliance, relationships or new partnerships. Situations may not remain bright before May, 2011. Luck shall enter into life after May, 2011.

Time is good for planning foreign travel. The year is also good for seeking foreign assignments and for settlement in foreign country. Health may be a cause of concern during the first half of 2011.

Lucky colors are white and sky-blue. Lucky numbers are 3, 6 and 9. Lucky day is Friday. Compatible signs are Aries and Sagittarius.

Scorpio:

The year is good for cultivating new relationships. Possibility of long-lasting friendship exists in the horoscope. The year is good for planning children. Natives of Scorpio may be blessed with a child during the year.

Possibility of gains from foreign lands exists. If planning for foreign settlement or travel, the time after November, 2011 is good. The year is also good for those who are in the process of improving career prospects. They can take up a new course and appear for competitive examinations. They may have a chance for job-change in the first half of 2011.

Financially, the year is very good. Investments may yield handsome returns. Promotions and financial increments may also materialize during the year. There may be windfall gains from various sources.

Lucky color is red. Lucky numbers are 3, 6 and 9. Lucky day is Tuesday. Compatible signs are Taurus, Leo and Aquarius.

Sagittarius:

The year is going to be eventful for natives of Sagittarius. The focus will remain on career building and family matters. They will be able to make an impact on both.

The year is good for buying new property. Investment in luxuries is also possible. The year is good for fulfillment of all material desires. Financially, things may be better from November, 2011.

Job conditions may improve for some natives. The period after May, 2011 may be important for financial gains. They may get it in the form of promotion or a pay hike. Health concerns can be there for some which may need attention. There can be gains from travel.

Lucky colors are cream and orange. Lucky day is Thursday. The lucky numbers are 3, 6 and 9. The compatible signs are Gemini and Pisces.

Capricorn:

Natives of Capricorn may remain on toes throughout the year. Things may be hectic both in professional arena as well as personal life. There may be lack of focus on family and pertinent problems. They should take care of their health and family concerns particularly during the first half of 2011.

The year may prove to be lucky with respect to career and finance for natives of this sign. They will be able to do well in both after May, 2011. Expenses are also likely to soar during the year. They may expect promotion or financial increment after November, 2011.

The period after May, 2011 is good for investment in property. However, possibility of loss exists. Care should be exercised in choosing property and finalizing deals.

Lucky color is sky blue. Lucky day is Saturday. Lucky numbers are 1, 4 and 8 and compatible signs are Libra and Pisces.

Aquarius:

The year 2011 is eventful for the natives of this sign also. Possibility of change in career and residence exists for the natives during the year. The changes may become more pronounced after May, 2011.

There may be gains from elders and from people placed in authority. The natives may have to suffer from enmity arising from professional arena this year. However, the year is good for finances. There may be gains from various quarters including windfall gains from inheritance. Period after November, 2011 is good for traveling and for gains from boss.

Health may be a cause of concern for some which may need attention. Some natives may suffer from depression or anxiety which may be removed by yoga or meditation.

Lucky color is sky blue. Lucky days are Friday and Saturday. Lucky numbers are 1, 4, 8 and compatible signs are Taurus and Sagittarius.

Pisces:

For the natives of Pisces, 2011 is going to be an eventful year. The key areas of focus for them will be career and family life. They may have to work hard during the year to make an impact. They may see improvement in career prospects and family welfare with effort.

Many changes during the year may perturb them. Things may look uncertain initially and they will not be sure of their steps. But, things may look more certain after May, 2011 and they will march with confident steps.

Natives of Pisces may have health-concerns caused by anxiety and depression during the year. There may also be relationship problems. Health of spouse or partner may also be a cause of concern. Piscean should remain extra-cautious about these matters particularly after November, 2011.

Lucky colors are yellow and cream. Lucky days are Thursday and Monday. Lucky numbers are 3, 6 and 9 and compatible signs are Sagittarius, Capricorn and Taurus.

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Monday, December 26, 2011

The Temperance Tarot Card - What Does it Mean If Drawn in a Tarot Reading?

The Temperance card can be seen as a spiritual Tarot card if it turns up in a Tarot Spread in a Tarot Reading. The recipient of this card is being urged to temper their decision making and their assumptions through better awareness and understanding. Above all other cards, this one asks us to step into another's shoes to truly understand them.

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When the Temperance tarot card appears in a tarot reading it can also represent the manifestation of an idea or a wish into the material world. When this card is drawn it indicates that you will have the ability to bring about desirable outcomes, or turn a negative situation into an extremely positive one.

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Some of the questions the appearance of the Temperance card throws up when it appears in a Tarot reading are:

* Where in your life do you need to achieve more balance?

* Do you often make compromises?

* Why is it important to experience both good and bad times?

Personality

The Temperance tarot card portrays a person who is well balanced and grounded. The recipient is being urged to practice more moderation in their way of life, including their beliefs, and even what they eat.

Family and friends

For aspects related to family and friends, more harmony is predicted, with a need to recognise and understand all sides of a situation. Compromise and finding common ground is indicated.

Health

For health, Temperance suggests recovery is around the corner with a renewal of energy and vigour. Greater understanding is also indicated, either through being told and some successful research.

Love Life

As for all aspects, the Temperance card indicates harmony, and this is most indicative in love relationships. Awareness of another person's point of view comes naturally with this card, and a loving, harmonious episode is the result - and it could last!

Career

Working with another will bring a more harmonious situation at the workplace, and also good results. Again, greater understanding of other people's predicaments and limitations will help the process.

General Aspects

Generally, the Temperance tarot card predicts a time of harmony and stability in relationships of all kinds. Volatile and difficult situations become easier to handle, and conflicts are resolved through moderating behaviour and finding the middle ground.

Spiritually, this card is a great indicator of a renewed and invigorated spirituality where the recipient renews or develops an interest in psychic ability, healing, and real connection with Nature.

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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Chinese Tattoos - Meaning of Chinese Dragon Tattoos

Chinese Tattoos have always been hugely popular. At one stage they were the realm of criminals and the mafia. Now it seems even Hollywood celebrities seem to have caught on to the mystery and allure of the Far East. While it is undeniable that classic Chinese tattoos have an attraction which can easily be appreciated regardless of whether one can understand the often subtle meanings or not.

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Aesthetics should be the primary consideration when getting tattooed, and Chinese characters are very well suited to this purpose. While tattoos have always been conversation pieces, Chinese tattoos add another element, since the typical viewer will probably ask you the meaning, which allows the wearer to not only translate the characters, but to explain the story behind the decision to make such a lasting statement.

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Meaning is an important question however and for this reason can make Chinese tattoos date very quickly. Often it is not quite what the wearer was told by the tattooist at the tattoo shop or the meaning can become irrelevant after a few years.

Hopefully the person being tattooed has done his or her research and consulted with a native Chinese speaker about the meaning before being inked. Some non Chinese speakers have unwittingly tattooed their bodies with Chinese symbols which when translated become meaningless.

The most common Chinese tattoos are ones that are supposed to represent ideas and qualities like love or strength. Keep in mind that the concepts are aimed at English speakers, and on that level "peace, love and happiness" are easily understandable.

But before you run off to the studio to get one done you should do your research. Selecting a Chinese tattoos deserves careful study and attention. It should have less to do with style and more to do with your character, work, and values. It's permanent, so it's a pretty important decision in your life. In the end, it is important to choose something of lasting appeal not something faddish.

Chinese Dragons

For centuries, the Chinese dragon has been a symbol of power and mystery. Depicted in countless legends, both Eastern and Western, the dragon has provoked man to fear and worship it. In medieval Europe, it was a bloodthirsty, fire-breathing figure. Its malevolence and ferociousness struck terror in all. However, in Asia, it is the contrary. The mighty dragon is a mythical beast long celebrated for its benevolence, intelligence and good will. The Chinese dragon has been a common symbol of identity for Far Eastern cultures.

In fact, Chinese people all over the world are affectionately known as "lung de chuan ren", or the "descendants of the dragon". There are several distinct species of Chinese dragons. The Horned Dragon is considered to be the mightiest. The Celestial Dragon supports the heavens and protects the Gods. The Earth Dragon rules all of the earth. The Spiritual Dragon controls the wind and rain. The Treasure Dragon is the keeper of precious metals and gems. The Winged Dragon is the only dragon with wings. The Coiling Dragon dwells in the ocean. The Yellow Dragon is a hornless dragon known for its scholarly knowledge.

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Friday, December 23, 2011

How To Plan A Banquet - A Guide To Planning Perfect Banquets For Company Or Private Parties

First time planners are often stricken with complete fear! Even those that plan events over and over again still fear that something will go wrong and they will be the subject of ridicule. Hopefully we can allay the fears and quell the butterflies in your stomach by helping you through the entire project.

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There are a lot of questions you need to ask. First timers probably don't have the foggiest idea what questions to ask, so, the first thing we'd better do is outline these for you.

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Perhaps the easiest way to do that is to fill out a form. (I love forms!)
If you were to phone me and ask me to help you make arrangements for a special event, the first thing I would do is reach for a blank form, and over the phone we would fill it out. When I had all the information, I would be better prepared to help you.

Before you continue reading, you may want to print the banquet planning worksheet(PDF) from my website. That way you can follow along with the worksheet as I describe the planning process. I've also included a pre filled sample planning worksheet that you might help.

Let's begin with fact finding.

PURPOSE

The first question to ask is, "What is the purpose of the event?" This question should be really easy, but it's perhaps the most important. The purpose of your event will determine your event's agenda.

DATE

Break out your calendar to decide a date for your event. Look for possible conflicts. It might be tough to get people out to a Saturday night banquet if it's a three-day holiday. It would be unwise to put on a church social if your local school, where most of your congregation had children attending, were having an open house or play that night.

Pencil in a date and then try to think of possible conflicts. I know of one organization that booked a very popular and relatively expensive Jewish comic into the club house of a predominantly Jewish retirement community. Attempts to sell tickets failed miserably, because they had not realized they had scheduled his appearance on a Jewish holiday - a very expensive oversight!

BUDGET

There are many, many determining factors in establishing a budget. First of all, how many are expected to attend? You might have a pretty good idea for a company party, but in some cases you might just have to make a "guess-timate" until you can get more information. Make the best possible estimate based on what facts you have, and proceed.

TICKET PRICE

Another factor to determine before we select a location is how much your attendees are willing to pay. Sure, we can work the other way: we can pick a location, hire a band, select the menu, etc., and then add up how much it all costs and thus determine how much everyone needs to pay, but doing so will probably leave you hurting in the end.

If you expect 1,000 people, and you determine .00 a person is acceptable, then your entire budget for food, printing, entertainment, etc., is ,000. If you expect only 20 people and you know they won't come if it's over .00 a person, then you know you're far more limited.

LOCATION

Determine the geographical area where the event is to take place. If you live in the area where the event will take place, you may already know of various hotels, country clubs, restaurants or catering halls that can accommodate your group. If you don't live in the area, be sure to go look at the potential location before you book it. If the event is in a distant city and it's not possible for you to travel there, and the event is a significant one, I suggest you hire a professional meeting planner.

I once attended a banquet in a quaint "50's malt-shop-type restaurant. The party planner had not gone there to look at the room where the party was to be. She had just taken the word of a friend. True, it was a great restaurant, but their "room" had about 5 permanent booths on each wall. Guests were facing in all different directions. This made it almost impossible for the magician they had hired to perform. To further confuse the issue, it was not even a private room. Restaurant customers could not get to the restroom without disturbing the party, and the 50's music continued to blare through the ceiling speakers throughout the evening because it was piped throughout the whole restaurant and could not be isolated from one room. A visit beforehand could have prevented this nightmare.

Many, if not most, facilities do not charge a fee for the use of the room but instead absorb the rental fee into the price of the meal. For instance, in our example of 200 people, a banquet facility would be delighted to supply a private room in order to sell 200 dinners.

Usually they will have several dinners to choose from - perhaps a chicken dinner, complete with beverage, salad and dessert, for .00 per person; or prime rib at .00 each; or sirloin steaks at .00 per person. In our example we are charging .00 per person. Let's select the prime rib at .00.

Does that include tax and tip? Oh, Oh! Find out if it does, or you may get a surprise at the end of the night. Let's say it does not. 15% tip and 8% (or whatever) tax makes the dinner a total of .14 per person. Our sample budget calls for 200 people at .00 each for a total of ,000. If all 200 people attend, dinner will cost ,428. That leaves ,572 for all other costs.

By the way, the facility may ask you for a deposit and guarantee. If you guarantee 200 people, you will have to pay for 200 dinners even if only 175 show up. Generally, a facility is prepared to serve about 10% more people than you guarantee. So it makes sense to guarantee a lesser number than you expect. Even some of those who told you absolutely they would be there, maybe even gave you a deposit, don't show for one reason or another.

Just to be on the safe side, in our example of 200 people, I would guarantee the restaurant 185. If you're pre selling tickets, which I recommend, you can always adjust your estimate upwards with the restaurant a day or two ahead of time if needed. Ask the facility about their requirements in regard to a change in the guarantee.

AGENDA

The evening agenda is largely determined by the event's purpose. A typical event might go like this:

6:00 - 7:00 - Social or cocktail hour

7:00 - 8:00 - Dinner

8:00 - 8:15 - Meeting/Awards/Business

8:15 - 9:00 - Entertainment/Speaker

9:00 - 9:10 - Raffle/Door Prizes

9:10 - 1:00 - Dancing

Having an hour to "gather" is always good. You and the facility both will want everyone present when you actually sit down to eat. It's been my experience that almost everything starts late, so plan for it and don't be disappointed when it happens.

Will you be having a cocktail hour? A "Hosted" bar means that drinks are free to the party-goers. If you choose to host the cocktail hour, be prepared to spend about 00 for our sample group of 200 people. Most organization-sponsored events have a 'No-Host' bar, in which guests buy their own drinks. It's appropriate to announce 'Hosted', or 'No-Host' in the invitation.

Some form of entertainment during the cocktail hour is certainly a plus. The facility may have music piped in through its sound system, which is certainly the most economical; however, for around 0 you could have live music. Most banquet facilities have a piano, sometimes on wheels, and will let you either rent the piano or use it for free. Fee for the piano rental should be around to 0 and a piano player anywhere from 0 to 0.

Other cocktail hour entertainment could include a chamber group, a jazz or "society" trio, harpist, or a strolling accordionist. A strolling "close-up" magician, performing from group to group or table to table, is always fun. Other forms of entertainment for the cocktail hour could include celebrity look-alikes, mechanical or conventional mimes, a balloon animal sculptor, caricaturist, graphologist, palm reader, tarot card reader, stilt walker, or just about anything else you can think of! Again, your budget is your gauge.

DINNER

This is pretty easy. When the Maitre'd says dinner is ready, have your party sit down!

The vast majority of banquets have certain people assigned to sit at the head table while everyone else may sit where they wish. If you choose to have a head table, you should make small place markers for those assigned to sit at the head table, and don't forget to discuss table arrangements with the facility.

OPENING

Someone, perhaps you, should step to the microphone and announce that dinner is ready and ask everyone to take a seat. When this has been accomplished your President, or whoever is presiding, should welcome everyone.

It is appropriate at most banquets to have someone lead the flag salute, followed by a blessing on the food. People should not be called upon for these jobs extemporaneously, but should be asked in advance and their names and responsibilities should be listed on the printed program if there is one. Following the flag salute and prayer, your Master of Ceremonies (or who ever is conducting) should introduce the people sitting at the head table, introducing himself last.

THE PROGRAM

If business of any sort needs to be conducted, begin when dessert is finished, or at least served. Make sure that the facility knows that you do not want any bussing (clearing of tables) or coffee served after the program starts, as it can become an irritating distraction and take away from the enjoyment of the program.

ENTERTAINMENT

Following opening remarks, and/or other business, you could either introduce the main speaker, or present some form of entertainment.

This could be the highlight of the evening! There are many outstanding after-dinner performers and speakers. If you really want to have a successful event, hire a professional. At this writing 0 to ,000 can buy you some pretty top-notch entertainment.

How about a comedian-magician who uses a member or two of your group and does some hilarious bits of business and audience participation magic tricks - 30 or 40 minutes of non-stop laughs!

Or picture this...the dessert has just been served and in walks "Lt. Columbo," complete with overcoat and cigar..."Oh, excuse me," he says, "I was looking for somebody else." All eyes are riveted on this familiar figure as he turns and starts to walk out. "Oh, one more thing, is this the Walker party?' Then for the next 30 minutes or so he does a comedy routine in the style and delivery of Peter Falk as Lt. Columbo, using names of people in your group.

That will rock your people out of their seats with laughter. These are just a couple of suggestions. Everybody loves to laugh, and a good professional entertainer can make you a hero.

How do you find that kind of entertainment? Again, watch out for the well-meaning friend. Sometimes hiring a friend of a friend who tells jokes or plays the banjo can put a wet blanket on the evening if they don't live up to your expectations.

Probably the best way to secure talent is to work with a professional talent agent that specializes in special events. Ordinarily there is no fee for his services. He can make recommendations and suggestions based on what your needs are, and work within your budget limitations.

Some entertainers may have special requirements, like a stage, spotlight, two mics or something else, and these items need to be arranged with the facility. There may be a rental fee involved.

RAFFLE/DOOR PRIZES

Giving away door prizes or raffle prizes should not be held until after the entertainment or main speaker. Perhaps it's an inducement for your guests to stay until the end.

If you're selling raffle tickets, again you need to make out a budget. How many tickets do you expect to sell and for how much money? Do you want to make a profit? Let's say you expect to sell 100 tickets to those 200 people expected to come, and we sell them at the banquet for .00 each. That'll give you 0 to buy prizes with. You can put this in your general budget or assign someone to take care of the whole raffle, including purchasing the prizes and selling the tickets.

DANCING

Following the raffle, the formal portion of the program is really over. Your people can now go home. If you've elected to have a deejay or band, they may stay for dancing.

The facility might charge to set up a dance floor. Sometimes this is a portable dance floor they build right on top of the carpet. A band will cost anywhere from 0 per band member to 0 per band member for four hours. A small trio of keyboard, drum and guitar could be anywhere from 0 to ,500.

An ,800 to ,500 five-piece band, including a vocalist, is average. If you hire a band, you may be able to use one or more of those same musicians to provide cocktail hour and/or dinner music for a small additional fee. You normally need to make a deposit at the time you hire the band. Anything over four hours' playing time is considered overtime, and you should talk with the band or agent about the cost of overtime when you make the initial arrangements. Bands also need to take a 10-15 minute break each hour. Ask if the band will supply recorded music during their breaks.

MOBILE DEEJAY

Sometimes you might prefer a DeeJay playing recorded music instead of hiring a band. This gives you the advantage of hearing the original recording artist instead of a dance band's rendition.

Another advantage is that most mobile DeeJay units will set up before dinner and offer to play dinner music at no additional cost, and of course, a DeeJay does not take a break during the evening, so you have non stop music for your event.

Cost-wise, there is not a lot of difference between a 3-piece band and a DeeJay. Some DeeJays offer a full light-show that few bands do, and even with an additional charge, this could be a real plus. I think it's just a matter of taste. Some people insist on a live band and others are just as adamant about a DeeJay.

PHOTOGRAPHER OR VIDEOGRAPHER

Video taping an event, except for historical purposes, is unnecessary. Seldom will the video tape or DVD be watched more than once after the event. Yes, maybe a Bar or Bat Mitzvah will watch his or her recording years later when they grow older, and maybe even a bride and groom would watch a well-edited and condensed recording. A company or organization's banquet, however, will be seldom if ever watched.

I would recommend that you hire, budget permitting, a professional photographer rather than leaving it up to one of your guests or a friend of a friend who only takes photos twice a year. You can have the photographer deliver prints or a CD of digital photographs in which case you could print just the photos you want.

PROMOTION

Probably the most traumatic thing that could occur is that you planned the entire event and then no one came. If it's a company party and the food, entertainment, drinks and dancing are all free, I don't think you will have a problem, as long as you let everybody know when and where and that it's FREE!

But if that's not the situation, you may need to promote the event. Once you have all the facts (WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, WHO, and HOW MUCH), you can create a flyer - a piece of paper with all the facts on it, designed to motivate people to attend.

If you're an artist, great! You can create the flyer yourself. If not, maybe someone in your group is and they can help you. Otherwise, you need to "rough it out" the way you'd want it and take it to a graphic artist to do the "camera-ready copy" for you, then off to a printer to print however many you're going to need. How many you need will depend on how you're going to distribute them.

The layout, printing, envelopes and postage all need to go into your budget. There are, of course, additional ways you can promote the event - word of mouth, bulletin boards, phone committee, club or company newsletter, posters. If your event will be open to people outside your organization, you might try using the publicity channels of other related groups, companies, schools, etc., as well as your own. Have a "brainstorming session" with your committee, if you have one, to think of all the ways you can get the word out.

And remember that if you want people to come to your activity, you can't just tell them. You have to tell them and tell them and tell them! Use all the resources at your disposal, and don't hesitate to repeat yourself. The more times you tell them, the more will come!

TICKET SALES

There are as many ways to handle this as there are ways to promote the event. If you have to lay out funds ahead of time (which is usually the case), it is good to get as much money as you can up front. Pre selling your tickets will help you do that. Of course, your publicity must state your requirements and deadlines. This also will help you get a handle on how many are going to attend. Remember though, that there will still be some last minute cancellations and additions, so stay flexible.

TABLE ASSIGNMENTS

As mentioned earlier, most organizations assign only the head table, and the rest of the attendees are left to sit where they wish. Some groups insist on drawing pictures of the tables on a sheet of paper, numbering them, and then assigning people to specific tables.

I think it's far more work than necessary, but if you must, then have at it.
Some banquets, especially those honoring individuals or groups, offer entire tables "for sale." 10 people per table at each means that for 0 someone could reserve a whole table. Make sure you put a "reserved" sign on that table, showing the name of the host.

THE PRINTED PROGRAM

When all the facts are in, if the budget will permit, a nice printed program could be put at each place setting or handed out as people arrive. It should contain the agenda for the evening and credits given to all those who contributed to the event.

Many organizations have been successful in selling ads in the program to defray the cost of printing or even to raise some extra money. I've put 0 income under the income column of our example. Don't you think you could convince 10 people to give you their business card and pay to be advertised on the back page of the program? Of course, this idea could be a little tacky if the event is to celebrate little Bobbie's 10th birthday. Use your best judgment.

DECORATIONS

This could be a big item or not - strictly up to you. If you picked a beautiful location, and it's not a special seasonal event like a Christmas or Halloween party, why not just enjoy the facility's decor? If you feel you need decorations and you have a sufficient budget, call a party decorator who uses balloons. They go a long way towards dressing up a room without spending a lot of money.

Centerpieces on each table look nice. You can ask someone to donate these or have someone clever make something for each table. Many facilities make such a nice table layout that a centerpiece is not necessary. Don't spend money unnecessarily, but do remember that the nicer the ambience, the better the memories or the event will be in the minds of those who attend, which means that they will want to come to your next event, too!

One note of caution. If you're having entertainment, be careful that large
centerpieces, particularly balloons, don't block the view of the performing area or even the people sitting on the opposite side of the table who want to see and talk to each other.

YOU DID IT!

Yes, you will fret and worry until the whole thing is over, but every party planner does. Just relax, do your best and enjoy! (Here's a secret: If you enjoy what you're doing, the people you are doing it for will enjoy it, too!)

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!

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2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven's sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!"

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3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here's a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, "How do I look?" (And she's wearing a dress you don't particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.) Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, "You look great." You don't really mean it and a part of her knows you really don't mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal - we all have done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here's how to match the words with the nonverbal: "I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.) She's not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She's not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!

4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!"

5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I'm not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

6. Let YOUR needs be known - loudly. Be a little - no, be a lot - self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here's a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "win him back." So she begins an all out effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "be nice" and meet every need he ever said he had. She's going to "fill his tank with goodies." Doesn't work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even resentful: "Why is she doing this NOW!" She's hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive - if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine - just doesn't work. It's perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn't say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so "nice and caring?" Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: "I need...x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?" He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, "What about my needs?" You respond, "I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly." Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn't you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn't that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?

7. State who YOU are - loudly. It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person. This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you're like most of us, you haven't given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don't you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities? Don't you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You're concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life? Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn't destroy trust. But it doesn't create it either. And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for? And then...begin letting significant people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character. They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you.

8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don't stop, you demand they stop. If they don't stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment. To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well?

9. Charge Neutral. When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don't speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship. You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won't fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don't people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others? Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your "quiet center," remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness.

10. Dig into the dirt. Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy.

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

How to Become Psychic - 6 Amazing Tips For Tapping Into Your Psychic Potential

Let's talk for a few minutes about how YOU can become psychic! Now if you are one of those folks who believe that all psychic skills are gifts that came with birth, or are some sort of special powers that ONLY a magical few possess, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong..:-) Simply stated, EVERYONE has at least some psychic skill and potential, just the way everyone can learn to play golf, or play a guitar. Let's cover 6 tips for accessing states of mind (and body) that are conducive to accelerating YOUR psychic growth! Read on..:-)

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Meditation:

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This is the big one boys and girls. If you want to expand your mind, you've got to go within. Every religion, form of mysticism and spiritual practice agrees on this ONE common fact...and so too do I!

Visualization:

You've got to SEE it in your minds eye, before it appears anywhere else. Visualization is simply the practice of creating powerful mental pictures, and seeing where they lead!

Intuition:

You can practice this for sure. Don't believe me? Try it with the phone...or when someone "feels" like they are staring at you from behind. You can tap into a "field" of awareness simply by opening yourself up to this powerful practice!

Imagination

This is another centerpiece quality to harnessing psychic ability. The more creative you are, the more likely you are to have unexplainable and transcendent experiences, and this very fact has been replicated by artists and musicians in laboratory tests over the last 3 or 4 years as well.

Belief

Don't EVER discount this - it's worked in my own life, and in the lives of countless others as well. You have to open yourself UP to the possibility that something is real, or possible, before it will come into your field of potential. NOT new age gobbledygook either, this is simply the power of the mind...the BIOLOGY of belief!

Train Your Brain

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Friday, December 16, 2011

The Judgment Tarot Card - Are You Being Judged, Or is it a Fresh Start For You?

The Judgment card, when it appears in a reading for you, or for your client, can be seen as a very positive card. It means that the time has arrived when the past can be left behind and we can move on with our lives at last.

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Some of the questions this card poses when it is drawn in a tarot reading are:

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* Do you harbour a grudge, and if so, can you forgive and forget at last?

* Are difficult times the best times to make a fresh start with renewed hope?

* Are there any mistakes you have made for which you have never forgiven yourself?

Personality

For meanings related to personality, either yours or other recipient of this card, Judgement indicates someone who knows what they want and is not afraid to ask for it. The person represented by this card is not afraid to express opinions, make hard choices and choose the direction of greatest resistance.

Family and friends

A major influence of this card is renewed hope and fresh starts. This bodes well for relationships of all kinds, but particularly between family members and friends. Difficulties can be overcome, upsets and misunderstanding forgotten, friendships renewed and repaired.

Health

For health, the Judgement card can mean that choices are to made about the kind of life you should be leading. Perhaps it is time to make healthy life choices such as changing what we eat and how we use (and abuse) our bodies. This will bring a sense of feeling cleansed and refreshed. New vigour will be the reward.

Love Life

The past can be left behind with this card. Guilt, sorrow, feelings of missed opportunities, can all be forgotten. Forgive yourself, and those close to you, and any relationships will grow and become closer.

Career

In connection with career, work and your prospects for financial success, the Judgement card indicated you will become aware of a new lucrative direction. This will be a realisation of a new true vocation, coupled with the impulse to take advantage of opportunities. It's a great card for career aspects.

The Judgement card is one of powerful transformational energy. It provides the power and impetus for you to re-evaluate your life, and to consider improvements. Options, choices and opportunities that come before you will be taken advantage of because of the courage and power this card provides you. A bold course of action can change your life with this card. Ill health concerns will recede and a new lease of life will be enjoyed. Any legal judgements will go in your favour. This is a time of rebirth, a releasing from burdens, and overcoming obstacles before moving on.

Don't be afraid of judgement on your past -- look forward to the future and leave the past behind you now.

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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Top Ten Myths About Tarot Cards and Tarot Reading

Myth 1 - "Tarot cards can predict the future"

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Predicting the future is not difficult we can all do it. If for example you know someone who is consistently spending more than they earn and paying for it by building up a credit card debt then it's not hard to predict where that one is heading. Or if you know someone who is expecting a baby you may, based on experience, accurately predict that they will have many months of sleep deprivation and tiredness ahead of them. The Tarot does little more than this. It has centuries of human experience distilled into a simple philosophy and meaning for each card. Another way to look at it is to say the Tarot doesn't make precise predictions of the future it merely allows us glimpses at some of the likely possibilities.

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Myth 2 - "The Tarot come from Ancient Egypt"

The earliest that Tarot can be dated back to is 16th century Italy. There is no evidence of Tarot existing anywhere else in the world prior to this. Some people claim the cards derive from India or China but this is also baseless speculation.

Myth 3 - "Receiving the Death card means someone is about to die"

Unlikely. The whole point of the symbolism of the cards is that they represent deeper life truths. To take any of the cards literally would be to miss out on a layers of meaning and insight. In the case of the Death card, to the medieval mind Death represented an inevitable change and often a passing to a better place. The card represents change and evolution. One can't, however, rule out the possibility of this occasionally actually signifying a death.

Myth 4 - "Reading Tarot is dabbling in the occult"

There are many claims that the Tarot have Pagan, witchcraft or shamanic roots and some have even implicated the Tarot in devil worship and satanic rites. Another frequent claim is that the Tarot derives from ancient religions now forgotten. None of this is true. Tarot , as has already been said, originated in medieval Italy and the predominant cultural backdrop of that time was christian. The symbolism of the cards is either christian or jewish - new testament or old. The word 'occult' merely means 'hidden' so in that sense one could say taking a reading is dealing with the occult because one is trying to reveal what is hidden.

Myth 5 - "Reading your own cards will bring misfortune"

This is one which professional readers and those experienced with the cards know not to be true but which often gets repeated. It may have arisen from the fact that Tarot card readers will avoid reading their own cards. Not because it is unlucky but simply because it is not effective. A good Tarot reading requires three parties; the questioner, the reader and the deck. The reader tries to remain objective and reports to the questioner what the cards are saying without any bias or desire to hear a particular message. Playing this role for your own reading is difficult if not impossible.

Myth 6 - "You need to have some psychic ability to read the Tarot"

Most people can learn to read the Tarot to a lesser or greater extent. No psychic powers are necessary because all the wisdom is in the cards and the meanings which have been developed over the years. In fact if one was psychic why would you need to use the Tarot? Tarot works best when the reader drops their preconceptions and feelings about a problem and just lets the cards do the talking.

Myth 7 - "Nobody should ever handle your Tarot deck"

There are some practitioners that wont let anyone else touch their Tarot cards. Even when they carry out a reading they wont allow the questioner to shuffle the deck for themselves. In my experience this precious attitude comes from those who want to build up themselves and their deck to be something special. A control thing if you like. This is against the spirit of Tarot which promotes open enquiry and sharing of understanding. Allowing clients to shuffle the cards helps them to feel a part of the process and focus on the problem at hand.

Myth 8 "The Tarot can be used to cast spells or effect other people"

It is sometimes thought that the Tarot can be used to make things happen rather than predict them. To influence someone's life from afar, for good or evil. This is a long way from what the cards are actually about, which is simply gaining understanding. There is no reason to believe that the Tarot has any power other than that of insight. One of the frequent messages that comes out of Tarot readings is actually how little ability we sometimes have to influence our own lives let alone someone else's. Put in a nutshell the Tarot would probably say 'get your own act together before you try to change others'.

Myth 9 - "Different decks give different readings"

This is slightly subjective but in my experience, no. Whatever the deck the meanings derived over four centuries remain the same. Different people will however relate more warmly to some decks rather than others and the images that the client is most comfortable with will create the best atmosphere for a reading. A cynical person might suspect this myth is propagated by the deck manufacturers.

Myth 10 - "It is dangerous to have too many Tarot readings"

There is a belief that people who become obsessed with Tarot and keep taking one reading after another bring themselves bad luck or even risk pushing themselves over the edge. This maybe true in as much as seeking constant advice can be a sign of some sort of impending crisis. Such people may also have been close to the edge anyway. The main thing is that too much advice is bad for anyone and only leads to confusion.

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tarot Card Layouts - Using Tarot Card Layouts to Divine the Future

From simple questions to complex concepts, different Tarot card layouts provide customized insight into situations. Some are deceptively simple, but offer a limited amount of esoteric information. Other Tarot card layouts are extremely involved, but provide a depth of understanding that is mind-boggling in its scope. Between these extremes is a plethora of other Tarot card layouts, each one tapping into psychic power of the cosmos to enlighten and encourage further understanding in our world and our lives. Tarot card layouts may even be one of a kind spreads, developed for particular individuals, or to resolve specific situations.

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A good practice is to develop a set of preferred Tarot card layouts that lend themselves to the situations the reader encounters most often. Love and finance are often the primary questions involved in a divination, a fact that every reader should acknowledge. Develop a deep and intuitive knowledge of Tarot card layouts that are specialized for this purpose. Make lists of the inquiries made most often, and be confident when choosing the spread which works best for those situations. Keep in mind that the confidence which is displayed during a session is contagious; any doubt displayed by the reader is passed on to the questioner!

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All layouts have their specific purposes. In order to properly divine the secrets locked within the cards, an intimate knowledge of these individual facets is important. Psychic powers must be coerced into revealing secrets, and the correct pattern of the deck is a necessity that cannot be ignored. Invest in reference materials, including a guide to Tarot card layouts, and use it as a guide to perfecting this strange and wonderful mystic art. The forces at work through the hands of the reader are enormous, their proper use could shape great destinies when used in the proper way, and effort should be taken to fully understand the myriad ramifications of apparently minor differences.

Another thing to keep in mind is that a question may sometimes require not one, but multiple layouts, each one giving more insight into the details of the previous. For those in-depth situations, be prepared. By knowing which Tarot card layouts work best for which situations, the entire reading will flow seamlessly, and be far more accurate. Just as a painter must have knowledge of how the different colors mix to form subtle shades, the art of Tarot requires more than a simple knowledge of the deck. It requires the artist to know which variation is best applied to a particular scenario.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

2012 End Time Signs - Written in the (Tarot) Cards?

A friend of mine is an accomplished tarot card reader. She is so good that she is able to make a living from giving regular readings to rather well-heeled clients.

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Now, I remain a skeptic as to the possibility that you can learn about the future from studying cards with strange pictures on them. But I try to keep an open mind.

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Lately, my friend has been telling me things that have unsettled my skepticism. Since I am a student of the prophecies and predictions about coming cataclysms associated with the year 2012, some of what she has revealed to me sends shivers up my spine.

According to her, the same specific cards are starting to crop up over and over in the readings she is giving to different people. This frightens and intrigues her, because it never happens -- unless major world changing events are coming, the kind that touch everybody.

Here are the tarot cards that are turning up with increasing frequency in her spreads:

The Tower. Traditionally portrayed as a lightning bolt striking a tower, from which people are falling. It can mean destruction or disruption of a person's -- or a society's -- normal life.

Five of Cups. Often interpreted to foretell great sorrow or loss.

Death. The meaning of this card seems obvious, not to mention scary, to most people. But my tarot reading friend says it doesn't always, or even usually, mean physical death. Sometimes it simply represents the end of one part of our lives before a new part begins.

The Hanging Man. The usual picture is of a man hanging upside down by one of his feet. The perplexing aspect of this card is the look of utter tranquility on the man's face. It is as if being put in this position brings some kind of expected fulfillment, not to mention complete peace.

My friend knows less about the 2012 hubbub than I do about reading tarot, so this is my interpretation of all this: The cards are telling us that we are about to go through incredible changes, personally and as a global society. These changes will bring losses, sorrows and pain, more than most of us have ever had to endure. Yet in the end, we will see that all this was necessary to bring us into a new and better world, or perhaps a way of being.

Is my interpretation of the message of the cards the correct one? I have no idea. But if there is any validity to the tarot, then I feel they are trying to tell us something about the near future. The parallels to the predictions about 2012, in particular, are startling.

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Tarot Card Meanings - The World

In this last installment of Tarot Card meanings for the Major Arcana, we'll be going over the various meanings for the Tarot Card, The World. A lot of people wish they could have the world, and the moon and the starts and everything else. Well, be careful what you wish for because not everything is as wonderful as most people think it is. Utopia has not yet been discovered and I doubt that it ever will be. The World is no different.

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Okay, so what does the card The World mean? This card, in its normal meaning, is basically a culmination of all your hard work. You've completed a job well done and can now enjoy what you've accomplished. This is especially true if the card falls in the sixth or tenth position. The World, in these positions, may be one of the most satisfying cards in all of the Tarot, though it doesn't happen often.

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This card can also mean that things are clear for you to make changes at home or work that may be very beneficial to you. You can accept new challenges and feel confident that you'll meet these challenges head on and with great success. Others will also be able to count on you now as you have great insight. One thing you must never forget is where you came from.

In reverse, The World is not such a bright picture. Usually, this card means that you're stuck in a rut and unable to face new challenges. You're afraid to try new things and your fear it going to cause you to stagnate. You've experienced many lessons in your life but for some reason, you're unable to learn from them. Because of this, you resist change and cling to old ways.

This card may also show that you're trying very hard but not applying yourself in the right way. You need to take a step back, look at what you're doing and try to find another way to solve the problem. Being stubborn won't solve anything. You have to learn to accept other people's advice.

As you can see, not all is right with The World. It may sound corny, but it is also very true. Try to learn the lessons that The World has to teach. If you can do this, you'll find that you can have just about anything in the world that you want and be successful at just about anything.

To YOUR Divination Success,

Steven Wagenheim

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Monday, December 12, 2011

Tarot Poetry - The High Priestess, Number II

My cosmic link: The second element, water.
My feeling: I discover the cosmic matrice.
My meditation: I am PRESENCE.
My key-words: I listen to my guardian angel

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On my Fool's pilgrimage, I have accepted the incarnation meeting the Magician, the number I.
Now I learn to go ahead with the next lesson: the High Priestess, number two.
I begin to see my inner space wider than I could ever have imagined.
In this infinite inner space, I meet my spiritual mother, the High Priestess.
She represents the number two. She teaches me « There is always you, the other and the universe ».
She hold the book of Life in her hand and she is silently sitting, waiting for me to listen to her voice. She knows that if I want to go further, I should listen and follow her wisdom.
She stands beside me on every step I take, she advices me quietly and peacefully. She is my shining star as soon as I call for her presence.
I feel her warmth, love and care for me and this helps me to remind me how the universe cares for me, even during the times I lose my road, or forget my name.
She whispers in my ear sweet lullabies and soft songs that keeps following me, even in my dreams.
I am so grateful to begin my fool's pilgrimage under such protection, I would have lost my road without her, the High Priestess, my holy Mother.
Thank you my guardian angel, I can keep on following my journey knowing that you will always be with me.

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